AMAZING GRACE
It’s 12:40am in Los Angeles and I am just now getting to sit down with my favorite cup (with a lid, because…I’m Emily) and I’m on my 6th rice cake. I LOVE RICE CAKES. Actually love.
Side note- They don’t sell the apple cinnamon ones anywhere anymore so if you feel that the Holy Spirit is calling you to bless me in this season of life please send me as many bags of Quaker Apple Cinnamon rice cakes as you can get your blessed hands on.
When I was in Palm Springs for work the youngest (8 weeks old) could not calm herself. Typically I’m a baby magician when it comes to tears but I could not get this poor girl to sleep. I went outside with her and started praying God would comfort her. She was truly restless and so exhausted, nothing stopped the scream/crying. After praying for patience and her rest, I starting singing Amazing Grace over her crying while holding her. I always thought Amazing Grace was overdone and I usually don’t love the traditional slow church songs so it was strange that this is the song I was singing. Regardless, after about 5 minutes she fell asleep and slept through the night. This is a baby who wakes up at the sound of a nice breeze outside. I thought nothing of it because I was exhausted and had 5 other children under the age of 5 to put into their pajamas and get to sleep. I didn’t even see it as an answered prayer because I was in a such a distant place spiritually that week.
This Sunday was my first week back to my home church with my church family. I was not in the mood before I left for church. After a few situations involving conflicting values between my heart and bible church values, I had decided that this was my “last chance” for the church before I sought out another.
When I got to church I was greeted by at least 15 people saying “where have you been!?” “your presence is so needed here!” “we missed you!” “Don’t ever go away for that long again?” “you ok?! It feels like it’s been forever!”. I had come to such a negative place spiritually so quickly that I figured nobody would even say hello. Talk about the enemy’s work. This place I’ve called my home I allowed myself to believe that they didn’t even know my name. WILD. After that I sat with my sister Sophia front and center of worship with more of my favorite people. The songs were beautiful but I was still approaching the day with a bruised heart and very guarded.
Then I started to hear God in a beautiful way. The Edgar Family (finalists on America’s Got Talent) performed “Let it Be”. It was the most heavenly sound I’ve ever heard.. After their song I learned they were a family! Mother, Father, and Daughter. The message that day was in interview for from our lead pastor and The Edgar Family.
I learned that the mother, Nikki, was a very successful Christian singer at a young age touring and performing for thousands until she got pregnant. She was on the Abstinence Tour with other Christian artists when she found out she was going to be a teenage mother. The record labels, radio stations, and stores pulled her from their shelves, dropped her, and stopped playing her music. The Internet began to fill with hate speech. She was alone, an expectant mother, and her career was over. She shared that her faith was gone. She “couldn’t see God through the hate”. Nikki knew The Word, she knew Jesus and she couldn’t understand why His love “didn’t apply to her”. She was heartbroken by the members of the church and Christian world who had kicked her out. She thought jesus would never do that.
Years later Nikki moved to California and met her husband. She was worried to drop the “mom bomb” because she had learned through her experiences that having a child wasn’t “helpful“ while dating as a young adult. Her husband’s response to her daughter was “that’s amazing! I can’t wait to meet an extension of you!” THAT is Jesus’s heart for us. He had this planned for her all along. Somewhere on her journey she found her faith again- through God’s relentless love unfolding. They formed their family band and began performing together and sharing their story.
Nikki shared that one day a pastor at a church in Florida called and asked her to perform. She “warned” the pastor that she would have a 4 week old baby out of wedlock while performing if he still wanted her to. He responded saying “I know that and I would love to have you perform at my church!”. This pastor was the Hands of God on earth for her. He reminded her who God was. Is . and always will be.
Then our lead pastor got emotional saying “I’ve made some wrong calls and what’s hard about that is that people have lost their faith because of my mistakes.”
(at this point you can imagine I’m sobbing)
Nikki’s last advice for “anyone who has been burned by the church ” was this “don’t be afraid to give God and the Church a second chance. Don’t let the loud voices overshadow what God has for you in Him.” Remember, God speaks to us through other people and the Holy Spirit working in us.
Before the service concluded the family performed one more song, Amazing Grace.
Just incase the enemy was still telling me this message doesn’t apply to me God “@ me” with that song. This is our father. The one who pursues us always so clearly. We just need to be seeking him with our whole hearts in order to interpret His love for us.
The service ended with our pastor praying for those who decided that “today was their last chance for church.” I CANT MAKE THIS STUFF UP. There were about 1,000 other people there to confirm. Haha! It’s good to be home. #NotTodaySatan Give God one more chance. He is ALWAYS waiting for you to come back home.
Isaiah 61:1-3
“The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because the Lord has anointed me to bring good news to the poor, he has send me to bind up the broken-hearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives and the opening of the prison to those who are bound, to proclaim the YEAR OF THE LORDS FAVOR. To comfort all who mourn.”
